Photo Credit: Grieving Addiction and Healing
Through my own battle with addiction, and my years working in recovery, I’ve had the privilege of knowing and loving so many people we’ve lost to this disease.
To the ones we’ve lost…
There is no clean way to say this and no version of this that doesn’t hurt. None of you were supposed to become a memory. You were never supposed to be someone we talk about in past tense.
You were someone’s favorite person. You were someone’s mom. Someone’s dad. Someone’s son. Someone’s daughter. Someone’s best friend. You still are. These titles resonate with me so much more, now that I am a mother myself. And although you held all these special titles, addiction is something that is loud and all consuming. But hear me when I say, you were never just your addiction. You are so much more to all of us.
We remember the real you. The you, before it all got heavy. We remember your character, your heart, your smile, and all of the things that made you, you. We also remember the fight and how tired you were. We saw the moments you wanted out and did not know how. Maybe we did not understand what you were going through in those moments but, we never stopped caring. We never stopped praying for you to find your way.
With every loss, there will always be things we wish we could take back. Calls we didn’t answer. Texts we didn’t send. And although we will never know, one thing that is certainly true is, that if love could have saved you, you would still be here. That’s the truth that stays with us all, everyday.
Addiction doesn’t just take the person we love, it leaves behind questions that will never get answered. Although addiction is powerful, it cannot take everything. It didn’t take the way you changed people, just by being here. It didn’t take away what you meant to us. It didn’t take the huge imprint you left on the hearts of people who loved you. For those of us who are still here, we carry you in everything we do. Losing you has changed the way that we check up on people now. How we step in, when we used to step out. It has changed how we speak up and the way we fight, on days we do not want to. Some of us are still here because we watched your fight end, so we picked it up for you. We refuse to let this be the end of your story.
I hope that you all know that we miss you. In the quiet moments and in the loud ones. We remember you in random seconds that hit out of nowhere and floor our minds with sweet memories. We say your name and we tell your stories. We know you were fighting something that most people will never understand.
To all the people that I have lost to addiction personally, I love you all. I will always carry you in all that I do. You are a huge part of the reason I believe in building programs that could have helped us all. Thank you for being a part of my life and loving me the way you did.
A very special shoutout to my dad, Bobby, who was one of the kindest people in the world. How lucky am I to have had a step father that chose to be my dad and raise me like his own daughter; I am his daughter. I wish you could be here to meet my Son, you would have been the best grandpa. I hope you know how much I love you. Thank you, Dad.
If you’ve lost someone to addiction, leave their name in the comments. Say something to them. Share a memory with us all, so that we can all remember them together. Let’s fill this space with people who we refuse to forget.
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